Sometimes just signing your name to a greeting card is just not right. It’s too cold, too impersonal. You want to say something extra, but the right words don’t come to mind.

But it's so hard to come up with words of sympathy that will comfort the grieving, or encouragement for the faint-of-heart, or even the right words to congratulate someone. You want to say the right thing without sounding like a blithering idiot.

Fear not! Here are a few choice phrases, sentences, and words to use for every occasion! Feel free to mix, match, scramble them up or copy them directly.

Sympathy

Encouragement

Congratulations

Thank You

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How difficult it is to write a note following the death of a loved one, and yet how very appreciated and comforting each word is to the bereaved. Remember, the most important thing is to write something. The fact that you wrote is more important than eloquence or style. However, there are a few guidelines to follow to write a truly comforting note:

I was saddened to hear …

Our deepest sympathy …

I feel fortunate to have known your brother.

My heart goes out to you and your children.

Many friends share your grief at the passing of your sister.

We send you our deepest sympathy at this time.

Mary will be sorely missed.

I admired Ted very much.

I have just heard the sad news of Robert’s death.

I never knew anyone who had so many friends or who deserved them more.

I’m sorry.  (Yes, simple as this is, it is still comforting.)

I will always remember ___________ when she/he did ________ (Give a little anecdote. It doesn’t have to be big and significant. The little things (“How she taught our Bible class on Esther.” “How he always had gum in his pockets for the children.”) are precious.)

All our thoughts and prayers are with your family.

I was so sorry to hear of the divorce. It must have been a very upsetting and painful time for you.

I will always remember Bob.

Your mother was one of those truly wonderful people who made life so much more pleasant for everyone around her.

Your mother was a great lady, and you as her children do her honor.

I respected your father. He was a good influence in my life.

We know how much you looked forward to the birth of your little daughter, and we are weeping with you.  (Or, if the miscarriage was before the sex was determined, say ‘your little baby’ or ‘your precious child,’)

I so appreciated how your mother always had a big smile for everyone. (Or, sang so well at worship services. Or, took food to me when I was ill.)

I wish I could be with you at this time.

Will you let us know when you feel up to a quiet visit? We want to come by and give you a warm hug!

May the love of family and friends strengthen and comfort you in the days ahead.

Has a friend or loved one been diagnosed with cancer? Follow this link to a PDF that gives you tips on how to be the supportive person you want to be.

He was too young to die.

You need to move on with your life.

I know just how you feel.

Be happy for what you had.

For a miscarriage: Be grateful you have two healthy children. After all, it’s not like you lost a child.  (Yes, they did lose a child.)

You’re young yet. You can always marry again.

I have a friend who is going through the same thing.

Life must go on. You’ll feel better before you know it.

Also, do not give advise, especially on big items like moving out of a house or moving to another city. It often takes a mourner months before he or she can make a rational decision.

Avoid generic remarks like, “Let me know if I can help.” Instead, make specific offers. “Jake and I will come take care of your lawn Saturday, if that’s OK.” “May I babysit the children while you sort things out?” “I hear the car was demolished in the accident. I’m leaving my second car for your use as long as you need it.

 

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Like water on parched ground, so are a few encouraging words for the faint-hearted! Here are some suggestions for words to help your fellow traveler on the path of life. Remember: be brief, warm, and sincere!

You are such an encouragement to me.

 I appreciate all that you do.

I remember what a struggle it was for me to bring my three little children to worship services every week. I am inspired by you every week when I see you setting such a good example for your children.

You will never know the lives you have touched and the good you have done!

Life seems so hard now, but always remember that you have friends and family who love you and are praying for you.

I pray God’s richest blessings on you daily.

Always remember that you are not alone! There are many who love you!

When times are tough for me I read (mention a particular scripture). Perhaps this verse will help you!

A wedding? A new baby? A new job? Graduating from college? Whatever it is, it’s worth celebrating! Let the people in your life know how happy you are for them!

I heard that the two of you are engaged to be married, and I wanted to let you know how happy I am for both of you!

Best of luck to you know and in the future!

Best wishes from all of us.

Congratulations on your beautiful new baby! May Peter know health, happiness, and love all his life!

I hope your birthday is especially happy. You deserve the best.

Every good wish to the two of you for health, prosperity, and many more years of happiness together!

May you enjoy many more anniversaries, each happier than the last.

My heartiest congratulations to you!

Wow! That’s fantastic!

I hear wonderful things about you.

I so admire you and how you persevered in the face of adversity. This happy event is well-earned!

We are all so proud of you!

I wish I could be with you to share in this happy occasion.

I was delighted, but not surprised, to hear you won! You have certainly worked hard for this day!

Best wishes for a joyous anniversary to a couple we love and admire. You are a true blessing to us all!

I was so happy to hear of your promotion! Let’s celebrate!

Congratulations on opening your new business. I know you will do well, and I look forward to being one of the first to say, “I told you so!” when your store becomes a big success!

I know you deserve this honor.

That is such wonderful news!

My best wishes for a bright and happy future.

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Thank you notes are a lost art. However, I know people who have kept handwritten thank you notes for years, just to reread them and remember the moment. Make your thank you a special one! Don't just say "thanks!" Be sure to mention what exactly you are grateful for, and say why you like it or why you are grateful.

I am so pleased! or, I am so grateful!

Thank you for your kind words on my referral.

Please accept this as a token of our gratitude.

Please convey my personal thanks to everyone who helped with this project. They did a fantastic job!

It did our hearts good to see the lovely floral arrangement you sent.

What a comfort it was to come home from the hospital and see the lovely meal waiting for us in the refrigerator. The food was delicious, and the love we felt with every bite warmed our hearts.

Thank you for a most enjoyable evening. The meal was delicious, and the company delightful!

I had a lovely time last night.

How did you know we needed one? How thoughtful of you!

I plan to use your gift to buy a (fill in the blank). We need one!

I very much appreciate your concern.

I want to thank you for watching the children while I was ill.

Many thanks for your usual good work!

On behalf of the family of John Smith, I would like to thank you for your kind expression of sympathy.

Special thanks to the doctors and nurses at County Hospital. You helped us more than you can possibly know!

Thank you for being the kind of friend I can count on.

Thank you for making us feel so welcome!

Thank you for your generous donation to the Cancer Foundation in memory of my mother. She would have been pleased, and I appreciate your loving gesture very much.

Thank you from the heart.

We are particularly grateful because we know of the many demands on your time.

We both send our love and thanks for your thoughtful gift.

We feel blessed to have such loving and faithful friends.

You must be a mind reader! What a wonderful idea for a gift!

You are much too generous!

Your presence at my father's funeral meant a great deal to us.

Your suggestions were as helpful as they were welcome. Thank you!

You shouldn't have, but I sure am glad you did!

You were a big help to me, and I hope I can repay you someday.